A Lonely Valentine

For Valentine’s Day I thought I would write something special. Now I could have gone for the most romantic movies, but there are probably a billion lists with Love Affair sitting somewhere near the top. To be honest those sappy movies don’t really appeal to me. I must admit a fondness for Sleepless in Seattle, but that stems more for its reverence for film and the way film colors our conversation and perception as it is for the romantic story. Instead I decided to go with loneliness. I refer here specifically, the loneliness and the adaptation necessary to go to the movies alone.

Going to the movies alone is not always a fun endeavor. It shouldn’t be too bad because one’s reaction to a film is a personal and sometimes cathartic experience. It is you and the movie and your experiences color your perception of the film, it doesn’t need to involve anyone else. But going to the movies is an experience made up of more than just watching the film and it is some of the other cultural inputs surrounding going to the movies that make being alone difficult. I suppose it is the same as going out to eat, only you are satisfied by the food you put into your mouth, but sitting alone in the middle of a restaurant can be a lonely and alienating experience.

First let me state that there should be a minimum of talking between compatriots no matter what movie or who you are, anything else is rude. But the overall experience is far better with someone else. First there is walking up in line all by yourself surrounded by happily chattering families and groups of friends. Once you order your one ticket, you enter the lobby, walk directly past the concessions stand. After all, why would you pay six dollars for a small popcorn and a coke unless you were trying to impress someone of the opposite sex or traveling with an eight year old.

Then you have to go into the theater to pick your seat. If you show up a little late you can probably find a decent single seat so there is one benefit to flying solo. Of course if you show up early you have to sit there all by yourself with no one to talk to. If you happen to be a film reviewer you carry a pad of paper and a glowing pen with you so you are never alone. You scribble on your paper and pretend you would rather be creative (whether you really are or not) than having a spirited conversation with your closest friends. Once the movie starts you are safe, the lights are out and no one can tell you are alone. If it is a good film you are transported to another place and you have a whole cast of interesting people, new friends to share a couple of hours with. Of course if you have any clever comments to make you had better keep them to yourself because most likely none of the strangers next to you want to hear your lunatic rantings.

On the other side of the film you don’t have to worry about losing anyone on the way out of the theater. You have no one to get separated from or to wait on as they go to the bathroom. There is no one to review the film with and comment on the movie. I suppose this is the part I miss the most since I go to the movies by myself quite a bit. Not having someone too bounce ideas about the movie off of. They just go into my columns without the influence of a third party.

I guess overall what I am saying is that it does take some toughness of skin to go to the movies alone, it can be difficult sitting there by yourself. But in general a good movie can remove any discomfort and transport you beyond your self and your trip to the theater and your being alone, etcetera etcetera etcetera. Because just like in Sleepless in Seattle, movies provide us a new vocabulary and new experiences that we can keep to ourselves or share with our friends.